Day by day.........

Good morning to whoever is out there. I think today should be a good day,but, only i can make the choice to actually have a good day. I don't have too many good days but i think that it's my own fault by just getting up in the morning and seeing things in my way that fog up my mind . I have this problem of being a doormat and still haven't learned that i don't have to be. No one else cares what they say or feel..... I am actually to the point that i don't care one way or the other about alot of things and for me..that is not a good thing.

After all, that's not who  God created me to be. I guess i'm just rebellious and still trying to do it all "my way" and i know that life just doesn't work ..atleast for me...when i try and hold onto the reins of life. So, i hear people say "let go and let God" which is true and for me the best thing to do,but, when some people say it and they don't do it themselves, what do you do with that? So, who do you listen to, who do you believe, i can't even believe in myself because i am too beat down to get back up.........

i guess i am rambling again,but, maybe there is someone out there who might understand all of this. How many of you have been hurt by someone who is supposed to be so "Godly"? wow, that really hurts,so bad, right to the very core of  your being......... How many of you have hurt someone so badly and didn't intentionaly do it and now that person won't even add you back on their facebook or answer your messages. what do u do with that? How do you "fix" that?

So..you try and help someone through a difficult situation because you see them being hurt so badly and next thing you know it backfires on you and now you're the bad guy and they have worked things out..... miscommunication is the worst thing in relationships and can cause people to not talk or be in contact for days, weeks, month or years......... the enemy walks around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.......... today, i make a choice to not get beat down....all i can do is lean on Jesus...there is no one else, no way to turn... just me and HIM.................


if anyone reads this i hope it in someway helps..............